Closure Is Not Clingy: Why Disappearing Without a Word Damages Sisterhood, Brotherhood, Friendship, and Family”

Marcus D. Taylor, MBA
Jul 15
4 min read

A close-up image of a wooden door being closed by a hand, featuring two brass locks and a handle. Through the peephole, an eye is seen looking out from inside the dimly lit room. — When silence replaces sincerity—sometimes closure is a locked door with someone still watching from the inside.

Introduction: When the Ones Closest Become Strangers

We’ve all felt it—that quiet fading. One day, someone you were once close to just... stops showing up. They stop responding. They disappear without warning. No explanation. No conflict. Just silence.

In today’s culture, this disappearing act has been rebranded:

“Protecting my peace.”
“Cutting off toxic people.”
“Moving in silence.”

But let’s be real: when it comes to sisterhood, brotherhood, lifelong friends, or family, ghosting without context isn’t always peace—it’s avoidance. And it hurts.

The Emotional Toll of Being Left Without an Answer

Whether it’s a sibling, a line brother, a sorority sister, a childhood best friend, or even a parent—when someone you had a bond with stops communicating, it sends a message.

Intentional silence speaks loudly.

You start to question:

Did I do something wrong?
Did they change? Or did I?
Was the bond ever real to them?

And worst of all:

Do I even matter to them anymore?

Ghosting Is Not Growth—When There Was No Conflict

Sometimes we do need distance. Life is full. Emotions get heavy. But when there’s no major falling out—just a slow fade or a complete cut-off—without a single word—it creates open wounds instead of clean breaks.

People can justify it all they want, but vanishing without explanation is a form of emotional neglect—especially when there was a history of love, respect, or shared moments.

You’re Not Being “Extra”—You’re Seeking Closure

Let’s make this clear:

Closure is not begging.

Closure is not weakness.

Closure is maturity.

It’s saying, “We don’t have to stay close, but I’d like clarity. Was it something I did, or are we just in different seasons?”

This matters in all relationships—whether it’s your cousin, your sister in Christ, or your lifelong friend. Respect means offering people a finish line, not just fading into confusion.

Why People Ghost: Fear, Avoidance, Ego

People disappear because:

They lack the words to explain.
They fear confrontation.
They don’t value the relationship enough.
They think silence is kinder (it's not).
They’re uncomfortable with emotional depth.

The irony? The people doing the ghosting often want forgiveness or peace too—they just lack the tools to seek it.

What About When You’re the One Left Hanging?

I am speaking on a painful but honest experience. Two of my line brothers from my fraternal order—men I went through a defining journey with over 25 years ago—have been completely absent from my life. No fallout. No harsh words. Just silence.

Recently, I reached out to one of them, genuinely, to check in. The call connected, we exchanged a few words—and then he hung up. I thought it was a technical issue. I called back. No answer. No follow-up. Nothing.

There was no beef. No moment I can recall that caused offense. And maybe that’s the hardest part: not knowing.

I had to ask myself—was I ever really part of their lives in the way I thought? Maybe their silence is rooted in life changes, personal issues, or simply a shift in values. Maybe I reminded them of a part of themselves they’ve outgrown. Either way, what hurt wasn’t rejection. It was the lack of acknowledgment. The absence of closure.

But here’s where I landed: I’ve tried. I’ve been respectful. I’ve sought clarity without causing conflict. That’s all I can control. And in that, I’ve found peace—even if they never speak again.

Is It Worth Reaching Out?

Yes—if done in peace, not desperation.

Try something like:

“I’m reaching out with no expectations—just respect. If we’re in different seasons or going separate ways, that’s fine. I just want to make sure we’re clear. Wishing you well either way.”

And then… let it go.You’ve done your part. That is the closure—even if they never respond.

The Ripple Effect: What Are We Teaching the Next Generation?

When we normalize cutting off loved ones without explanation, we teach others that communication is optional and confrontation is toxic.

But communication isn’t toxic.

Silence in the face of confusion is.

We’re modeling relationships built on fragile convenience, not enduring love. And it’s spilling into our kids, our communities, and our organizations.

A New Way Forward: Setting a New Standard

Let’s do better. Let’s:

Say goodbye when it’s time to go.
Own our emotional shifts.
Respect those we once loved.
Recognize when it’s about the relationship, not the rejection.

And for those who’ve been ghosted:

Grieve what was.
Give yourself permission to let go.
Stop replaying scenarios that won’t change the silence.

Closing Reflection: Don’t Let Silence Define the Story

Every relationship doesn’t need to last forever. But every ending doesn’t need to be a mystery either.

Whether it’s sisterhood, brotherhood, a best friend, or a family member—you can release people with grace, but only after you’ve given them the dignity of your voice.

Even if they don’t respond, you’ll walk away with your integrity intact and your peace restored.