Let the Past Be the Past: Why Looking Back Can Stunt Your Progress

I was raised in Orange Mound, Memphis, Tennessee—a place rich in culture, violence, complexity, and character. My roots run deep there. My mother’s side of the family was grounded in that neighborhood. I went to Sharp Elementary, then Sherwood Junior High, where I started to drift. In seventh grade, I got expelled and ended up at Colonial Junior High. My mom, seeing the path I was heading down with local gang affiliations, made a hard decision—she sent me to Mississippi.

In Charleston, Mississippi, I enrolled in Charleston Middle School (or Charleston Junior High depending on who you ask). It was there I learned something that would stick with me far longer than any punishment: responsibility, time management, and work ethic. That detour changed my rhythm. When I returned to Memphis, I went back to Sherwood and eventually to East High School—where once again, I got expelled. I landed at Melrose High, right across the street from my grandmother’s house, and found footing. I played football, ran track, and started building again.

The athletes I vibed with at East were more my pace, but over time, the brothers I ran with at Melrose became like family again since many of us went to Sherwood together or I knew from Airways Jr. High. We matured together.

Later, I went off to Texas Southern University. College gave me memories, freedom, and identity. I played football, joined the Fraternal Order of Classy Gentlemen Sigma Rhomeo, and began reshaping the narrative of my life.

But here’s the truth that took years to accept:

The past may have built me, but it does not own me.

Too many people I’ve known—good people—are still mentally sitting in the bleachers of their high school gym, still replaying junior high drama, or still wearing old achievements like they just happened yesterday. Their identities are locked in the rearview. Add social media to the mix, and it’s like we have front-row seats to everyone's past, present, and pretend. One scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or LinkedIn, and we’re knee-deep in updates from people we barely knew—or who barely knew us.

I used to care. I’d scroll, search, maybe reach out. But what I found most of the time was silence or superficiality. People I once called “teammates” or “friends” were now strangers. And if I’m just another stranger to them, why stay connected?

I’m not saying we should ignore the past. Not at all. Our stories matter. The memories are meaningful. But I do question the purpose of staying tethered to relationships and mindsets that no longer serve the journey ahead.

• What’s the point of reconnecting if there’s no value in the present?

• What do I learn or earn from a past relationship that’s going nowhere?

• Are we nurturing relationships—or just clinging to ghosts?

This isn’t bitterness. It’s clarity.

Some connections from the past have evolved with me, and I value those. We check in, collaborate, uplift. But for the most part, the past was just that—a place of lessons, not a location to dwell in.

Nowadays, I view old connections differently. If someone from the past wants to stay in touch, I consider the purpose. If they’re just watching, I let them watch. If they’re open to working, building, or supporting, then let’s talk. Otherwise, I commoditize the connection—sharing updates, causes, or projects. Not to hustle people, but because if there’s no genuine relationship, the interaction might as well have some value.

Some will call that cold. I call it efficient.

Purpose matters more than popularity.

I have youth to mentor, missions to carry out, and a legacy to shape. I don’t have time to re-live the past or chase connections that faded for a reason.

Here’s the hardest part:

• You can’t carry old mindsets into a new mission.

• You can’t build a legacy with people stuck in nostalgia.

• You can’t hear your calling if your ears are full of old conversations.

So I choose to move forward.

Not disrespectfully. Just intentionally.

I’m no one special—just a man who crossed paths with many during different seasons of life. I’m not looking for applause or validation. I’m simply sharing where I am and what I’m focused on. Not everything needs to be personal. Sometimes, it’s just an update for the few who are still walking with me.

I believe in updating, not oversharing. I believe in growth, not glorification. I believe the past should inform us—but never imprison us.

So, if you see me online, don’t be surprised if I’m not reminiscing. I’m still building—just not looking back while I do it.

#Reflection #PersonalGrowth #OrangeMound #MovingForward #LetGoOfThePast #PurposeDriven #LegacyMindset