PERSONAL REFLECTION: Choosing Peace Over Places That Don’t Choose You

Today I heard Vince Everett Ellison make a simple statement that carried more truth than most people are willing to acknowledge. He said you are not supposed to be in places where you are not wanted or welcomed. As basic as that sounds, it struck a nerve in me because I have lived long enough to see how many people force themselves into spaces that do not value them. I thought I could make a diffrence. I though if I had the position since i had the respect of a few it could be different. I lost friends I thought would support me even if we went aganist each other for the good of the chapter. They fight to stay in environments that drain them, break them down, and give nothing back.

Some people treat being unwanted as a challenge, as if tolerance is the same thing as strength. Others take rejection as a sign to go somewhere else. Both paths are real, but only one leads to peace. What I realized is that there is a twisted mindset among people who mistreat you but still expect you to stay. They will say you quit, you gave up, or you couldn’t handle it. They use those words to protect their own comfort because your presence benefits them. Your absence becomes their conversation piece. It has nothing to do with your growth or your purpose. So, why air this out? Because I want to and I am a writer and sharing is my expression of transparency.

In this society, we choose where we place our time, our energy, and our allegiance. So it is strange that anyone would criticize another person for stepping away from dysfunction. If something no longer aligns with your values or your culture, then leaving should be viewed as a wise decision, not a weak one. I look at my hometown and see people who stay in jobs, relationships, and communities they cannot stand. Not because they find purpose there, but because they feel obligated to suffer through it. They accept unhappiness as normal. They confuse staying with loyalty and walking away with failure.

I stopped believing that. I believe in joy. Not the temporary feeling of happiness, but the deep sense of purpose that grows from within. Joy fuels growth. Joy builds resilience. Joy puts your mind in motion. When environments no longer offer that, they become nothing more than distractions.

That realization hit me even stronger when I deleted my three Facebook accounts. No emotional change. No shift in my life. No withdrawal. It just vanished from my day, and I felt lighter. What it showed me was that I had placed energy into something unproductive. Notifications, pings, and messages were pulling me into a cycle I never needed. Clearing the inbox wasn’t connection — it was a manufactured sense of urgency. Once I cut it off, the noise stopped. The peace remained.

My oldest son reminded me of something profound. He asked why he should keep giving effort to an environment with no results. His question was simple, but the wisdom behind it was real. I told him to look for one or two things he could still learn from the situation. He did, and that confirmed everything. Everything else was distraction. So we chose a better path. We are building something new — something aligned with purpose, values, and clarity — instead of staying tied to something that no longer fits who we are.

This reflection ties directly into my decision to leave my current organizational chapter once my term is complete. People want me to stay because I benefit them. I bring stability. I bring direction. I bring momentum. But the truth is the culture no longer reflects brotherhood or unity. It is heavy with drama, backbiting, ego, and power struggles. I refuse to commit my mind, my time, or my peace to a place that does not give the same respect or value that I bring into it.

This is not anger. This is clarity.

I want an environment grounded in purpose, structure, accountability, and genuine respect. I want to model something better for my sons so they can see how real leadership moves. They do not need to watch their father stay in places out of obligation. They need to see a man who chooses peace, chooses growth, and chooses alignment. Because peace is stronger than chaos, and clarity is stronger than conflict.

So I stay until my responsibilities are fulfilled, and then I step into what aligns with my life. That is not quitting. That is strength. That is maturity. That is self-awareness.

And the truth is simple:

You do not belong in places that do not value you.

You do not have to fight for acceptance where there is no respect.

You do not owe loyalty to environments that produce no joy or purpose.

Peace is a decision.

Growth is a choice.

And I choose both.