Living by the Algorithm: Social Media, Identity, and the Cost of Connection

Scrolling through distraction: As algorithms feed our attention, real-life dangers often go unnoticed.

There’s a danger in living vicariously through others.

There’s also a danger in living by kerosene—fueled by constant stimulation, ego inflation, and artificial validation. Today, that kerosene is often social media.

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves is that validation from social media equates to acceptance, belonging, or truth. It’s not. What we see online is not reality—it’s a curated, algorithm-fed depiction of fragments: memes, sound bites, hot takes, rants, and recycled trauma. It often includes flawed logic, counterfeit wisdom, and outright deception.

Social media isn’t inherently evil—it’s a tool. But it is shaped by what we feed it. The algorithm reflects us. It doesn’t challenge our thinking; it mirrors it. If your feed is full of drama, betrayal, or brokenness, it’s likely because that’s what you’ve either interacted with or sought out. And the cycle repeats itself.

Algorithmic Echo Chambers

The scariest part is that our feed becomes our worldview.

If you believe men are always the problem, the algorithm will reinforce that.

If you believe you’re a victim of society or politics, the feed will reflect that.

Not because it’s true—but because you’ve trained the algorithm to show you what aligns with your emotions, not your intellect.

This is how critical thinking begins to decay.

Growing up in Orange Mound, Memphis, I saw abusive relationships in my own family. As a child, I naturally saw the abuser as the villain. But as I matured, I realized that the same woman repeatedly chose the same type of man. The nice, respectful men were labeled as “too soft” or “unable to handle her.” She didn’t want love—she wanted the chaos she had normalized. Her environment became her algorithm, long before social media even existed.

Digital Conditioning, Real Consequences

Today, the same conditioning is happening digitally.We are raising a generation of reactors, not thinkers—emotionally driven responders with very little self-awareness or analytical capacity.

When people can’t handle disagreement without calling someone a “hater” or labeling someone of their own race a “sellout” simply because they think differently—that’s not empowerment. That’s indoctrination by algorithm.

What we call “culture” is becoming more of an echo chamber than a reflection of shared values. It’s less about who we are and more about who the algorithm tells us to be.

I learned AI through social media. It can be a blessing. My initial interest grew from exposure to tech content. I learned from TikTok, LinkedIn, and YouTube. I created my own process. But what I discovered was this: even though I started with AI, graphic design, and inspiration videos, my algorithm started changing subtly.

Watching sermons introduced content that veered into “cultural commentary.” Watching '90s hip-hop debates opened the door to gender war clips. Even if I swiped quickly past them, those milliseconds were enough for the algorithm to adjust. Eventually, I was being fed content I didn’t ask for—things that were in direct conflict with my original intent and growth goals.

I deleted TikTok.

Not because I hate it, but because it began to distort my focus. I became more emotionally attached to political rants, more frustrated with gender division, and more distracted by viral chaos.

The Youth Are Especially Vulnerable

If that’s what it did to me—a grown man—I can only imagine what it’s doing to our children. Their realities are being shaped by screens, not experience. Their values are shaped by viral narratives, not real-world relationships. Their sense of identity is filtered—literally and figuratively—through apps.

I’ve seen suburban kids in affluent neighborhoods mimicking “hood culture,” glamorizing crime and chaos they’ve never lived through. How do they access that? Through social media. Through entertainment. Through a false sense of connection.

I know this personally. I came from the hood. And many of our families moved away from that culture to build something better. But our children are being pulled back into a lifestyle we fought to escape—not by force, but by fascination.

Discernment Over Distraction

Let me be clear: I’m not finger-wagging or trying to be hyper-religious. I’m simply pointing to what I see. As someone grounded in both faith and logic, I recognize that discernment is more important than ever.

We must teach and model discernment.

We must curate our content intentionally.

We must guard our minds and the minds of our children.

We’re now in a time where nanoseconds connect us globally. That’s powerful—but also perilous. We can spread wisdom, or we can spread delusion. We can be builders, or we can be reactors.

Cancel culture has become weaponized misinformation.

Victimhood has become a substitute for values.

And digital narratives are replacing actual relationships.

Final Thought

Social media is not inherently toxic. It’s a mirror.

But if we don’t know what we’re feeding it, we may not like the version of ourselves it reflects back.

Let us not become so digitally connected that we become spiritually, emotionally, and mentally disconnected—from truth, from reality, from each other.

#DigitalDiscipline, #AlgorithmAwareness, #SocialMediaReality, #ProtectOurYouth, #FaithAndCulture, #CriticalThinkingMatters